What mental health means to me- Aanya Bhaduri

How often have little boys been told to man up when they cry? How often have the cries of little girls added on to the baseless stereotypes of women being overly emotional? How often has the realisation of being wrong come to those who condemn talking about sadness only after they lose a family member to the very same sorrow and how often have they gone right back to doing the same thing over and over again?

What we as individuals don’t realise is that the perfection we are so relentlessly chasing does not exist. It doesn’t exist for the model on the cover of vogue, it doesn’t exist for the millionaire who has endless luxuries, it doesn’t exist for the popular kids at school or the neighbour’s son our parents compare us to and most importantly it will never exist for us. The facade we have been taught to maintain of a constantly emotionally stable individual is so far off the mark and so disconnected from reality that although we are aware of the impossibility of its achievement, we cannot embrace it.

The pain, the suffering, the frustration and anger stay suppressed inside a heart which hasn’t been taught how to grieve and continue to grow behind the “I’m fine” we throw around mindlessly. Locked doors, curtains closed, the only companion in our pain is the pillow which is home to our tears and shelter to our screams. Even in our misery, we go out of our way to make sure that no one sees us broken, no one hears our truth. We make sure that no one claws past the unconvincing smiles on social media and sees who we actually are. We don’t see that the model of vogue has been starved for decades and millionaire sits alone in his mansion. The popular kids who thrive on others’ attention because they getnone at home and the neighbour’s son who is suffocated under the title of being winner in a race he didn’t choose to participate in.

So when someone asks what mental health for me is I say it is recognising our pain as well as that of others and choosing not to let that define us. It is the emotional intelligence to cry. Not behind closed doors aided by muffled screams but in front of people. Cry as easily as I smile and not get shamed for it. Mental health to me means the power to stay away from the gnawing insecurities which are so constantly fueled not only by masked members of society but also myself. It is the ability to look into the mirror and be at peace with the reflection, to look back at a job well done and appreciate myself for it. Mental health to me is a basic necessity and not a privilege. It is valuing my tears just as much as my smiles andknowing that both are representative of equally justified emotions that I’m allowed to have. It is not a trend on social media or a newfound means to express teenage angst. It has been around for the entire length of civilisation and it is high time we talk about it.

- Aanya Bhaduri, Head of Blogging and Writing