Things that stress a teenager out

“What are you stressed about?“

My parents asked me

And to be honest, the reasons that I had always seemed insignificant after the moment passed

So I told them I was fine

That I wasn’t stressed

That I was alright

I am alright

But really? That’s what I always say

Desperately hoping that they

Figure out that I am lying

I am fine

Locked doors, sitting on the floor

Wiping tears on my sleeve

Overwhelmed by insecurities

You knock and ask me if I’m good

I’m fine I say, like I should

Missed calls, unread texts

A smile on my face that no one suspects

Academic validation, perfect grades

Im dying under weight of my 4.0 gpa

High expectations that I set for myself

But I’m fine, I’m fine, I dont need to get help

My bitten nails, the tapping of my feet

All the deadlines that I fail to meet

The people who I don’t want to let down

The loud noises and never ending sounds

Promises that the universe didn’t keep

I’m fine, I promise as I wipe the tears off my cheek

But I am tired of lying everyday

To people who I’ve decided will anyways not stay

All the thoughts that die in the backspace of my phone

I block people out and then I say I’m alone

Black holes that swallow the words in my throat

I’m sinking, I’m sinking, no I’m afloat

So I cry in discretion, silent sobs

My heart heavy with all the emotion it absorbs

My world is burning, but the match in my hand

The world is burning, I hope you understand

I don’t want to feel so much all the time

Please save me, please save me but I say I’m fine

I say I’m fine, and you don’t think twice

About the sadness that lives in my smile

About the plans that I cancel on

That the extra letters in my texts are gone

Sometimes I still write I’m fine with two e’s

Please don’t get convinced, please don’t believe me

-Aanya Bhaduri