Self Harm and Suicide

Have you ever just felt like your world was folding in on you? Like you were just going through the routine every day but you had nothing to live for ? Like every step took way more effort than it should’ve and every hand you held onto for support let you go ? Because I have. We all have.

But so what if today you do not have a reason to smile. Will cutting your body distract you from your sorrow? Or will it just be a reminder of everything you deserve to forget? Will taking four extra pills end your worries forever or will it create unparalleled guilt in the mind of everyone who loves you? Where is the everyone you ask and if they do love you then why can’t you feel it. It is because pain has this inevitable tendency to make you numb to other emotions. You have to, however just let go of all the doubt for one second and truly look around at every little thing which makes you want to live. The “ when will you reach home?” text from your anxious mother or the meaningless reel your best friend sent you that made you laugh. The way your dog wags his little tail when he sees you and how that one girl in class saves you a seat everyday, How the uber guy talks and talks and somewhere in the middle of his rant you forget your worries. When the homeless child barely clad in ragged clothes care-freely dances in the same rain that irritates you and when the notification in your phone finally holds the text you were waiting for. When you get better grades than last semester or when your crush smiles at you.

Think about everything that makes you smile and then think about whatever forced you to get those horrible thoughts of ending your life. Is it really worth is? Will your mother not emptily stare at her phone waiting for you to text back? Will your best friend not cry whenever they find a funny reel? Will your father not lock himself in your empty room trying to figure out what he did wrong? And what if you decide to stay? Maybe tomorrow you will hear back from your dream college and the day after that you will find the love of your life. Maybe everything will honestly be okay. But today I need you to know that we can hold on to each other in our troubled times and get through them. We will get through them. Together.

- Aanya Bhaduri