Expectation VS Reality

Expectation is an architect of dreams, designing the blueprint of our future possibilities. All people have aspirations, regardless of their age. A 10-year-old child may dream of becoming a billionaire, while a 70-year-old grandfather may want a retirement house by the bay. Since it is a matter of personal endeavour, many individuals are not expected to discuss it, but we can certainly detail what steps may be taken to ease your concerns. 

The initial and basic step in managing expectations from yourself involves refraining from setting unrealistic goals, as this sets the tone for how you approach various aspects of your life. This principle can be taken into account  in the realm of New Year's resolutions, where individuals who struggle to uphold commitments to others often face similar challenges in meeting personal aspirations. The failure to follow through on resolutions often leads to regret and excuse making. Whether it's due to procrastination, self-doubt, or anything else, unmet expectations create a sense of disappointment. Excuses become a shield, deflecting the arrows of accountability and preventing individuals from acknowledging. However, breaking free from this cycle requires a change in mindset and an effort to confront challenges with honesty and self-compassion.

An effective motivator that pushes you to work towards your objectives is healthy competition. It builds resilience and inventiveness by motivating you to set high standards for yourself and work hard to surpass them. However, the moment you start comparing yourself to others and pressuring yourself, you risk falling into a cycle of self-doubt. Comparing yourself to others often leads to unrealistic expectations and feelings of jealousy. Each person's journey is unique, and shaped by their experiences, strengths, and circumstances. By focusing on others, you lose sight of your own progress . This can erode your self-esteem and distract you from your personal goals.

Instead, focus on your own path. Know your success by the progress you make towards your own goals, not by how you stack up against others. Celebrate your achievements and recognize your growth. By doing so, you maintain a positive and constructive mindset, enhancing your personal development without the burden of unhealthy comparisons.

It's essential to cultivate self-awareness. Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and aspirations forms the foundation of managing expectations from yourself. Recognize your limitations and embrace imperfections. Perfection is an illusion that can lead to frustration and burnout. Instead, focus on progress and continuous improvement.

Learn to differentiate between healthy striving and toxic perfectionism. Healthy striving involves pushing yourself to grow and improve, whereas perfectionism demands flawless performance at all costs, often leading to anxiety and self-doubt. Embrace the concept of "good enough" and understand that mistakes are inevitable and valuable opportunities for learning.

Always treat yourself how you would treat your loved ones. Remember that in the end, you’re a human being too. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend facing similar challenges. Acknowledge your efforts and achievements, no matter how small, and forgive yourself for setbacks. Cultivating a mindset of self-compassion fosters resilience and enables you to bounce back stronger from adversity.  

Seek support from others. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage youA strong support system can provide perspective, guidance, and reassurance during challenging times. Surrounding yourself with such positive company only motivates you more and causes no self comparison or jealousy. It acts as a catalyst for your self improvement journey and helps you be your best self.

Embrace flexibility and adaptability. Life is unpredictable, and plans often deviate from the course we envision. Instead of rigidly clinging to predetermined outcomes, remain open to new opportunities and willing to adjust your expectations. You might initially be disappointed with certain outcomes not going the way you wanted them to, but you never know, they may just lead you to an opportunity better than you could've ever imagined.

In conclusion, managing expectations from yourself is an ongoing journey that requires self-awareness, realistic goal-setting, self-compassion, effective time management, support from others, and flexibility. By cultivating these qualities, you can free yourself from the shackles of perfectionism and self-doubt, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Life will always throw obstacles at us and sometimes, we may have rough days. You cannot expect yourself to be on top of your game everyday and never have pauses. In the end, we’re all humans.

-Anaya Thakkar and Tanay Chaskar